Thank you, Nanny.

This had me laughing. Out loud and for many minutes.

What has me crying, and I mean every single week, at least a few tears, is the Fox show 'Nanny 911.' It's reality TV, which I hate, and yet I'm drawn to it like a moth to a flame and I don't even think it's inflicting any kind of brain damage on me. (Shocking, I know, since it IS reality TV and it IS on Fox.) If you're not hip to it, first of all, what the hell are you doing reading this when you could be watching the show? A brief synopsis is that each week, one of three British nannies is sent to help an American family whose kids are out of control. The families have had as few as two and as many as seven children, and here's the fun bit: it only SEEMS like the kids are out of control. In truth, it's always the parents who need to shape up. Turns out, kids do crave structure and consistent discipline in addition to all the nurturing and love they can take, and the transformations these families seem to undergo are often quite moving.

The scary part is that we're trying to have a kid, and perhaps eventually a second one, as well. I'd comforted myself with the thought that, while it seems that it can go from "ok" to "complete and total chaos" in the blink of an eye, that seemed to be the families with four or more kids. We like to think that we'll be great parents--sensitive and patient, yet firm and strong--but we certainly felt like having two kids instead of, say, SEVEN, would definitely tip the odds in our favor.

Then we saw the family with two little ones (and a former-nanny Mom and Marine Dad, to boot), and briefly glimpsed the vast expanses of the dark continent to which we hope to travel. In effect, it gave us just the merest suggestion of that mass of the iceberg that isn't the tip, but that will gash a hole in the hull of your Titanic faster than you can say, "What the hell is that?"

Iceberg, right ahead! I just hope I make it onto the lifeboat instead of floating on that iceraft with Kate and Leo.