Do I look like I care?

I have friends and family members who are constantly forwarding messages to me that are always annoying, and often downright offensive. I think I may have bitched about this before, but these are people who seem to love and care for me. Yet, when they hit the FORWARD button, they must not even think for a second, "Hey, wow, this goes against everything she believes in. Ah, hell, let's send it anyway."

Lately, I've received two forwards regarding the American Family Association's boycott of Target for....well, here, let the idiot Donald Wildmon tell you himself:

Several retailers have joined in the push to ban the use of "Christmas" in their in-store promotions and retail advertising. The new push to eliminate "Christmas" and replace it with "Happy Holidays," "Season's Greetings," etc. is gaining ground with several retailers participating.

So far, this year's list includes Kmart, Sears, Kohl's, Home Depot, Lowe's, Target, Costco, and Wal-Mart.

---

He quotes Bill O'Reilly as saying there is an anti-Christian bias in this country, and that it's even more prevalent during the holidays. Oh, come on. Are you kidding me? The fact that at least two people I know subscribe to this bigot's bullshit frightens me.

I wouldn't sign his petition (for I am angry with Target for my own reasons, as you know). But I did send the little sweetie an e-mail:

A friend forwarded to me your ridiculous call for a boycott of Target. To say there is an anti-Christian bias in this country is laughable. To further equate a true Christian celebration of Christ's birth with ANYTHING Target chooses to put in its advertising is sacreligious. Target is, in fact, selling items to customers who celebrate many December holidays, including Kwanzaa and Hanukkah, so they are absolutely correct to offer "Seasons Greetings," which can encompass the entire holiday season, from Thanksgiving through New Year's. I am reasonably certain that the scriptures do NOT include any reference to wishing others "Merry Christmas," or to buying things at discount retailers to honor the Lord.

I'm not even religious, really. But I don't think this clown is, either.

Gotta get up to get down.

Or sometimes, you have to get down to get back up. In either case, I've decided not to whine about my life...for today, at least. Instead, here's a lot of things that ARE making me smile right now. There are so many of them, I can't believe I was feeling sorry for myself.

• We're going to contact a local clinic about trying to have a baby. We talked to the nurses at a booth at PrideFest this summer and learned that they do inseminations. That's all we know, but we still want to try and this is step one in getting back in the game.
• I got a message from the local gay parents' listserv that a new adoption agency in town is very welcoming to gay and lesbian parents. While our state is conservative, state law doesn't exclude gays and lesbians from adopting--not YET, at least--and this agency says they're looking for good parents...not good STRAIGHT parents. We e-mailed the agency director to get the information packet and have signed up for their first information session on January 8th.
  
• I bought a new laptop for $450 and sold my old one the first day on eBay for $380 plus shipping.
  
• The new Harry Potter movie comes out in 3 days. We usually go see them on the first afternoon, but this time we're waiting a few days. Lisa's birthday is next Wednesday and we're going then...woo-hoo!
• I finally figured out--with my brother's help--how to actually use our DVD recorder to (surprise!) record things on DVD. It rocks.
• I am going to visit my family this weekend.
• Lisa and I will celebrate our 13th anniversary next Monday.
• I'm off work all of next week.
• I love Sudoku puzzles. Haven't done one yet? Come on, Google it!
  
• Finally, check these fun things out:
• Mr. Picasso Head
• The Falling Woman (disturbing, for some reason, but oddly addictive)

Just thinking of all that stuff makes me feel better!

I had no idea.

I didn't know how much I could ever miss a person, until Alexis went home and it has begun to settle in that I will not see her every day, will not see her for a while, and will likely never again have her here with me. (And of course I have to hope that I won't, because if she comes to live here again, it means the US Military has messed up her family again.) I've missed people before. I moved around all my life, as I mentioned yesterday. I went to 10 schools before graduating high school--and that's in only 12 years, as I didn't go to kindergarten at all. I went to 5th grade in three different cities, spending only 3 months at one place before moving to a new state. I've lived away from my grandparents, aunts, uncles & cousins most of my life. I've missed my mom and dad, even when I just spent the night at a friend's house. I've missed friends and significant others. Lisa and I were together only about a month before job transfers took us to different cities. But, I could see her most every weekend, and I could call her every day, any time I needed to. And I could tell her I missed her, and hear that she missed me. We hated to be apart, but we understood why we were, and knew it was up to us to decide if we'd be together again.

Alexis doesn't say she misses me--thank God, really, because if she did, I'd be out of my mind and just rocking back and forth in a corner somewhere. When I talked to her tonight she wouldn't say anything, finally said my name when her mommy asked her to, and then her mom said she ran over to my picture and stood there waving at me. Our bedrooms have mirrored closet doors, and she made little mouth prints on them, kissing her reflection. It drove me a little nuts then, but now I won't wipe the kisses off because it's the only way I can remember how tall she was. Quite frankly, she's becoming a little indistinct in my mind, which I'm ashamed to admit. (Lisa says it's happening to her a bit, too, so at least I'm not alone in this.) I recall her, but it's like I can't recall her exact voice, and all my memories are just a little fuzzy around the edges. I know she's changing every day, anyway.

We just learned that a friend of ours--an acquaintance, really, a woman I played soccer with in Texas and quite liked but never really knew away from the team--lost her 10-year-old son last week. He died unexpectedly and, as far as anyone knew, wasn't sick or anything. Losing him would be a devastating blow under any circumstance, but to lose someone so young with no warning is almost incomprehensible to me. At least I know that Alexis is sleeping right now, in her crib, in the room next to her mom's, or maybe even with her mommy, who's probably smelling her hair and cuddling her. I know that I could get on a plane tomorrow and see her. But Andrew's parents have to walk by his room, think of how just 10 days ago he was there, whole and happy and himself. And now he's gone and is never coming back, and if it doesn't even seem real to me, how the hell long will it take to seem real to them?

Well, DO you love it?

My friend has recently sold his home and moved in with his boyfriend. Their new house was recently finished, after many, many months of hassles with the builder. (Said boyfriend was expecting to move into this house almost a year ago, if I'm not mistaken. I'm glad for the delays, because I do believe things happen for a reason and, as it happened, the house became ready at a time when Gatsby felt comfortable making this move. It's a big step, for anyone I think, and for one who has lived alone for most of the past 15 or so years, I imagine it's a leap of faith. Gatsby calls his boyfriend "the Catch," and I think he's right.)

Anyway, we saw them for dinner this weekend and they were lamenting that everyone they know keeps asking of the new house: "Do you love it?" It's annoying both of them....being fairly pragmatic males, they both think, "Eh, well, it's a house, you know." And Gatsby profoundly points out, "The house is not the thing I love. It's the home. And that could be anywhere."

He and I both grew up in families that moved. And moved. And moved. As an adult, I've continued this pattern, and have now lived in 10 states, more than 15 cities at last count, and more than 30 different houses. And I've always thought, as he does, well, it's a house. If it's safe and clean and dry and I don't hate it, then it's ok. And it always has been...having my family with me, either my growing-up family or my now-family, is what makes any house my home.

But, I have both now and I couldn't be more thrilled. Anywhere I am with Lisa is home, but now THIS house is our home and we DO love it. We marvel almost daily at how lucky or blessed we must be to have found this house and to live in it. People who visit claim to love it, and I hope that our friends and family feel loved and at home here, but even if they don't, I LOVE THIS HOUSE. There, I said it.

I love the Ladies!

Ok, I know, this isn't news to anyone. But I mean, in particular, THE Ladies, which is my special pet name for the Golden Girls...and today is a Golden Girls marathon on Lifetime, so you know where I'll be as soon as the quitting bell chimes at work!

Ah, the world is a depressing place, isn't it?

So, I already know that Wal-Mart is a pretty evil corporation, treating its employees--and the communities they live in--like shit. If you doubt that, read Nickel and Dimed or How Wal-Mart is Destroying America...take some Prozac first, though. In the midst of my reading of the latter book, I ran across a posting on America Blog that alerted me to Target's policy that allows pharmacists to refuse to fill prescriptions for birth control, if dispensing the prescription violates the pharmacist's personal beliefs. What the hell? Does Target also allow cashiers at its Super Target stores to refuse to ring up wine if they don't believe in drinking? Do those same pharmacists have the right to ask a male customer if his Viagra prescription will be used in the bonds of holy matrimony?

I fucking doubt it.

The whole policy came to light because a pharmacist in nearby Fenton, Missouri exercised his "right" to not do his job. Now where in the hell am I supposed to shop? If this pisses you off, one place you can go to contact Target is through Planned Parenthood.

Home from vacation...need a vacation from vacation.

You know how it goes? You go on vacation, and then you need a break from vacation? We had a wonderful time, though, visiting family in New Hampshire. It was very restful, and we got to see our 2-year-old niece, who is smart, funny, gorgeous and basically perfect. Not that I'm biased, of course. It was beautiful weather--cold, mostly gloomy and rainy, just what we like. We went hiking, slept, read, played and watched TV....perfect!

It was nice to be away after parting with the baby Alexis. We were (and are) sad to be home without her....because we moved here in May, she has been living with us the entire time we've owned this house. So, it's empty, but every day it's a little less difficult. And, her mommy called to tell us she used the potty tonight, so we're feeling pretty proud that we had her ready for potty training. We will try to spend the next few weeks doing things we couldn't easily do before--go out, enjoy leisurely dinners, sleep in on the weekends--and that will help us a bit.

And then we'll have to decide what our next step is in this seemingly endless quest to have our own kid...egad. If you find a spare one in your neighborhood, just send 'em our way. We're not remotely picky, as long as they seem friendly and huggable!